Monday, July 11, 2011 @3:26 AM
Dear Heart, Why Him?
The stupid age-old question when you fall for someone you shouldn't be falling for at all.
And I mean someone who, let's quote Carrie Underwood's Cowboy Casanova, 'looks like a cool drink of water but he's candy-coated misery.'
Some misery alright. I just wasted my whole Sunday afternoon by sleeping it away and skipping meals. This always always happens when I'm feeling like crap emotionally. ugh.
Whywhywhywhywhyyy. I am so pissed off with myself. I endured at least 6 months of that kinda treatment before and I hated that so much and now I'm going through it AGAIN. WHAT THE HELL, ARIEL. and the best part, I keep telling myself to hang on and hope that something's gonna happen cause I'm delusional like that.
But hey, you said this to me a long time ago,"to be honest, you're a nice girl.
you shldnt get yourself in tt situation aye.." and I remember you saying, "dont get too near me." Then why mess with me. Like I said in the previous post, I resisted. But you tried and you tried and you just enjoyed the chase, didn't you?
This
may not be your intention at all and I apologise if I accused you of messing around with me. But why can't you tell me the truth sometimes? Why do I find it so hard to trust your words? And then again, if you really didn't care, why would you look for me at 3am under my block just to clarify things? Why would you ask me to stay over at bra's place? and why would you be willing to watch Emperor's New Groove with me? What is this to you? Who am I to you?
By the looks of this, I don't even know if this is moving on or am I just getting myself into such situations or involve myself with people just to forget the pain from 4 months ago.
K-mah says I can still afford the time to say 'I don't know.' And this time, I don't think I'll be hanging around for more than 6 months. It was and it will be way too painful.
You know my move. It's your turn to play the cards.
Lingering question kept me up.2am- who do you love?