"We're never gonna get this back you know..."
I remembered you saying this while we were on the bus towards Tanglin Mall.
I remembered how I shrugged it off and told you, "It's not true."
I remembered hoping you were wrong.

Now that you're so far away from here, I'm trying so hard to remember the codes you gave me.
I might have broken a few and I wish you were here to keep me in check.

Your 'spies' can't help much like I said :)
You're always so busy, I don't even know when's the right time to tell you what I want you to know.
You said you'll always be here for me but even then, we too have boundaries, don't we?
After that night, I figured some distance would be good (You thought so too.) but I was afraid that we might drift.
And you told me not to fight natural course of events.
And then, that was when I let go.

I admit, I broke the codes.
code, schmode, you say.
I broke what made me real and what grounded me.
I don't need J, but he's always present and I'm too afraid to walk away.
You wouldn't let this happen if you were here physically.