Paper planes, leme photos and messing around are those moments whennnn... YOU'RE NOT STUDYING WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO.
Been studying in NYP's library for the past couple of weeks. Okay, I don't have evidences of us studying but who really takes photos of the boring parts of our lives (eg. studying) Even the closest photo of us studying has a flaw in it- You can see Hsin Rui on FB. HAHAHA.
It was super nostalgic going back there. I had pretty awesome memories and some pretty bad moments there. I loved how I was in school with the Hotshots, slacking away in ELDC and messing around in CRMCC. Haha I even remembered how Keith once said he always sees Bel & I 'prancing and skipping' around school.
See, school could have been more fun than that but not when I had almost endless worries about what I should wear, the time I took to reply, how long I took to walk from NYP to the MRT station, skipping unimportant classes just to be with him when I felt like I really wanted to be in school, where exactly I was when I told him I was and who I was with and what was I doing.
2, 3 years on, looking back, it was really darn silly to be giving up the best years of my life to one person and having my life revolving around his. I used to believe it was entirely because of me for the negatives in our relationship. I don't know, I don't blame him much anymore. Said I never will, but never say never. I hated him for a while and had flashbacks very recently and something just triggered a 5 minute hate. haha. Hate is the result of wounded love, isn't it. I couldn't care less for what he's doing right now. I really don't. We're just friends/aquaintances whatever. I have way better friends in my life now and I don't need him anymore.
That led me to an impulse text message to him telling him that he can throw my Torey Hayden book and my silver hairband away 'cause I don't want them anymore. He tried to meet me twice to return them but the first one had us talking and the other just... failed. So what's the point. Sigh. The book won't help me in any way (though it's my favourite book) and I don't even use a hairband. He replied saying I was supposed to let him know when I was free. With him, I'm always 'supposed' to be doing this, 'supposed' to be doing that. I don't even know what to say. You can throw them away, if you happen to be here, I know you still know my url. I don't need them, really. Thanks.
So, I don't even know what spurred me to blog tonight considering I've a paper in 14 hours.
Well, I shall just look forward to Friday! FRIDAYYYY. Fuckin' last paper and I'm off til July! YAY!
P.S. Something's wrong with the spacings in Internet Explorer. I don't know why. But it's fine in Safari. hmmmmm. What do I do.
"Forever is a long, long time. And time has a way of changing things."