I believe this holds some truth?
So no drinking or clubbing this week. 4 times last week was pretty scary. Binge drinking is harmful, Ariel! It's not as if I like beer as much as I like my Ribena.
Well, I've been trying my best to feel okay, I'm not aiming for fantastic yet, just, okay. I'm still struggling, I know there're other people who're having it worse, but it's my blog so I'm allowed to be self-centered here :)
Last Tuesday was baaad. Cuscaden with my uni friends aka The Clique, then hopped to another bar in town with Tilly 'cause his friend was working there. Okay, don't get me wrong, the company was great, it was what followed after drinking that sucked.
I came home at 2am, and who knew my parents would be hiding in different corners of the house to catch me when I'm high/drunk, I tried my best to act as sober as possible (which I failed v miserably) and then I found myself bawling my eyes out on the kitchen top for hours. I hate this so much. I found comfort in scribbling in my diary and talking to S. Oh the irony. I used to cry over S, talked to J once or twice when he stayed over at my place but now I'm crying over J and talking to S. Someone explain to me how this happened? Hm.
S accompanied me for an hour and a half. Bittersweet, yeah. That's it. It's hard to hate someone for so long. I can't do it. Refused to sleep 'cause I didn't want swollen eyelids, what a stupid reason not to sleep. But I did anyway, and had swollen eyelids anyway.
So we've stopped texting since Saturday and I don't know what to feel about it. Missing him? A little. It sucks but yeahhhh. We'll always be friends and it'll start again sometime.
I'm thankful for my best friends, churchies, uni & poly friends, family and S for being there when I needed them.
Been really busy with activities after that night, which I'm also grateful for. It helped elevate my mood and I'll def blog about them, just not tonight.
Sigh. Okay, I need some perk-me-ups now. Lizzie McGuire, here I come!
P.S. Les just attempted to make me read today's mass readings and then share about it. Don't so hardcore la, Les :)